Stri son Saorsa Rally - 2006

Click here for what the Turra Tart said!
First and formost, I would like to extend the thanx of all the F3 members to those brave and fool hardy few who organised this years rally. The whole thing was achieved by 7 people! Give yourselves a round of applause - you know who you are.
For the first time in a long time, Big Barney Bri, Chris the HGV (Heavy Geordie Vehicle) and meself managed to get to a rally without incident! As this was the first rally of the year there was the usual trepidation - did I dry out me tent before I packed it away? What have I forgotten? Where did I leave my thermals? etc... But no all was well in the F3 encampment, with the exception of one new tent. The HGV had knicked The Billy Smart Circuses big top, and after an hour or so of feckin about the behemoth was up. Within a few minutes, the rest of the crew (bar snake) had arrived, and party mode started in earnest!
First stop was pack away the top box bars (where were ya BIKERS1, Bri had tae drink all that Jack hisself!), go to the proper bar. Nasty reminder of the Scottish parliments latest bullshit rules, no smokin' in the bar (or hall)! As a smoker / ex-smoker / smoker, I thought it would be a pain in the nether regions, but I actually found it was okay! Though standin' in the freezin, cold was a pain. On the up side, the chance to speak to people without resorting to shouting over the disco / band was a nice change! Get all pissed up and head for the hall.
No suprise really that there was no seats left, but on the plus side we simply had to occupy the bar ! After making all sorts of promises about staying away from the Turbo Vimto, I failed. I did have something to celebrate, so that was okay.
Friday nights band were called Speed Trap, and they seemed to get the floor bouncin'. Approached by a rather fine young lady (who shall remain nameless) who stated she needs to be an F3 member, if only for the weekend... is you keepin' the shirt?? A nice touch at the end was a rendition of a certain Mr Connoly's Evil Scotsman. Went down rather well with a room full of most pissed up Scots bikers. As is more the norm, Baldy Bob gets back to his tent about an hour after everybody else and promptly dies. Four o-clock and wide awake and feckin freezin again... WHY DO WE DO RALLYS IN SPRING IN SCOTLAND AGAIN?!
Wee John also tried his patented sales pitch to me... why do you ride a hornet when you can have one of these loverly Fazers? All the bike mags say that the Fazer is a far better bike than the hornet, blah, blah de blah blah. John, for the last time 1) I outgrew the Fazer just before I would have killed it - Fat Bugger + 600 Fazer = Dead Fazer. 2) 919cc mate!

Apparently, I missed a game of Wee John Pinball again! Not to Worry, this rally used a combined event - F3 / Pie Eaters did the needful...
Saturday brought about that horrid feeling of URGH!
Lets not talk about Saturday morning as it was too awful to contemplate. Bright spot on Saturday would be the opportunity to wander round and see the bikes. Top work on Nodge's Road King by Bob Falconer deservedly won best paint. The chance to speak to the man himself was not far away as the roadrat kindly dropped by the rally to deliver the Turra Tart's new helmet, all lovely and shiney. A big hello goes out to Ozzy, and no I still don't have any biscuits.
As Saturdays at Rally go, I was only partially damaged, though there were plenty worse than me, I can only guess at what happened on the Saturday night, as I was headed for me tent before midnight, maybe big Bri will take up the story? I do know that our very own Buddha won the best rally prize ever. A tea tray, a tea towel and some greeting cards!
Heres the piccies from Brian and meself!

Stri Son Saorsa Rally 2006

As one of the daft committee members stupid enough to volunteer to be secretary for the second year running for the Aberdeen MAG rally at Lumsden it was always going to be a working weekend for me.

But I actually like doing the signing in gate, it gives me a chance to see who is going to be around for the weekend, catch up with old mates not seen since last year, and basically eye up the male totty!

So, arriving at the camp site around early lunch time on Friday in glorious sunshine, ordered especially for the day just to prove all those bloody cynics who claim it always pishes down wrong… with the legitimate car and caravan (luxury 5 * camping for the w/e) to be used for the signing in/general abuse/beverage centre/merchandise selling/flyer dumping ground etc. I set out my stall as it were and awaited the familiar sound of bikes arriving.

Fairly mundane until around teatime, when I had a ringside seat watching the antics of the 3 Stooges (namely Psycho Bob, Big Bri and the Rev). To say it was a bit like a circus act is an understatement. There appeared to be much discussion as to how the bikes were to be parked for starters. After a neat little triangle had been arranged, a bit like a wagon train awaiting the indian attack, they then had a pow-wow for several minutes. One can only presume this was discussing whether to put up tents before or after imbibing some form of liquid refreshment.

Bob clearly decided the quickest way to get things going was to erect tent a.s.a.p and get down to more serious things like drinking. BB on the other hand seemed undecided whether to be brain dead and numb enough to sleep alfresco, or attempt the tent erecting challenge.. lots of head scratching and vacant expression seemed to be the order of the day. As for Chris…well he takes the challenge award for tenacity and endurance. After 2 hours of alternating between looking totally confused, befuddled, exhausted and just plain ‘donthaveafeckinclue’ there emerged like the rising of the phoenix, a dome like structure of mammoth proportions…actually more like a circus tent, which from where I was sitting seemed fairly apt. Bring on the clowns….oh..they are already here!

The rest of Friday blurred into the night…signing in, selling stuff etc, keeping the hot water/tea/coffee area topped up and sorted…they say a woman’s work is never done….but in this case it wisnae much of a chore keeping folk happy.

Saturday was, well to put it bluntly, bloody cold, grey and overcast, but the rain stayed away, which is a blessing. The highlight for me was when Roadrat turned up on a flyby with my newly painted helmet (he’d only had the bugger for 18 months) but it now matches my bike ….have to say never considered myself to be a poser….but I’ll tell you what, if my chest wisnae so damn big to begin with, I would be fluffing up the feathers and strutting my stuff a bit more…he has made such a wonderful job..and his artwork in my humble opinion is second to none. I even managed to make him blush (to match his red striped dennis the menace jumper) by giving him copious hugs and a sneaky snog, to show my appreciation you understand. Kept his new furry friend Ozzy supplied with water and a twix bar …. These growing boys need looking after ya know.

Saturday night found me sitting at the doors of the hall, folding raffle tickets and generally trying to part folk from their hard earned cash. Like the night before I was on the Turbo Vimto…or as I asked Bob, a Vurbo Pimto please....and that was before I had drunk anything…clearly it has a 24 hour knock on effect, altho’ I suspect no food in the stomach may have contributed to the lightheaded/mouth don’t work syndrome.

Sadly, the one fly in the ointment was the catering. Despite several pre rally meetings and discussions at great length as to our requirements, and promises aplenty as to what would be provided, this did not materialise, and apologies to everyone for inferior food, and lack of choice etc. Needless to say, it will be done differently next year.

Saturday night’s band I felt did a damn fine job, despite there being 30% of people outside smoking at any given time, which made the hall somewhat empty, and the dance floor a little sparse. They are an excellent band, but like any live performers thrive on audience participation, and the lads struggled a bit once or twice, which I felt was a shame. Having seen them elsewhere, and knowing how good they are…it was a little disheartening to hear one or two moans…but then you can’t please all of the people all of the time…and for those who attend but aren’t prepared to have a good time, without finding summat to whinge about…well,(insert appropriate dialogue here, ending in ‘off’)

The weather was ordered and delivered again for everyone to go home in bright sunshine on Sunday, and the general feedback was everyone had a good time.

Yes, it is hard work on the night so to speak, but I for one am happy to oblige. It’s great to see people having a good time, and as the first biggish rally of the year there is always going to be the possibility of adverse weather. But the good news is, the Lumsden folk love having us there, and the site and facilities are as good as it gets. Along with some fine biking roads in the area..I reckon we did ok.

And now, for me…….every rally from here on in is a fundoodydandy time…
So watch oot, the Tart has hung up the official uniform for another year, and is busy sorting the heels and fishne…….oops, the leathers and boots